But tonight was a hard night.
The only boy I have ever really loved with my whole heart, I loved for a long time. I guess I still do, even though nothing can happen, or ever should. Two whole years of my life spent with my energy focused on him, and I could never imagine anyone else in my life. He was the one I would die for.
He's finishing his last year of high school. I always looked forward to the day where maybe, he would ask me to a dance. Or if perhaps, I mustered up the courage to ask him. We both wanted to go to one together. He's never been to a girls choice dance. I could be his first.
Finally, after miscommunication with previous dances throughout the year, prom season rolled around and I was dropping hints. Hoping he would pick them up. Unfortunately things just didn't come together like I had wanted.. I was banking on one dance. Morp. I was a little bit behind the curve and asked him today, excited.
He called me and asked if he could talk to me outside. So I met him in the neighborhood like we used to often, and play in the rain.
He had already been asked. By a good friend, but still. My heart dropped. It sank to my feet, and fell through the ground I stood upon. I knew something like this would happen. The last dance of the year, HIS last dance of high school, and I couldn't share it with him.
He offered to take me on a date to make it up to me. But it isn't the same. I walked back home not knowing how to react. Silence muffled every footstep.
*It's hard seeing someone you loved so much, get up and move along from the life that you were a part of.