Tuesday, May 1, 2012

heart strings pulled. painfully.

I never post about significant others.  Mostly because I don't enjoy reading other hopeless romantics' blog posts about their love life, so I don't bore you with mine.

But tonight was a hard night.

The only boy I have ever really loved with my whole heart, I loved for a long time.  I guess I still do, even though nothing can happen, or ever should.  Two whole years of my life spent with my energy focused on him, and I could never imagine anyone else in my life.  He was the one I would die for.  

He's finishing his last year of high school.  I always looked forward to the day where maybe, he would ask me to a dance.  Or if perhaps, I mustered up the courage to ask him.  We both wanted to go to one together.  He's never been to a girls choice dance.  I could be his first.

Finally, after miscommunication with previous dances throughout the year, prom season rolled around and I was dropping hints.  Hoping he would pick them up.  Unfortunately things just didn't come together like I had wanted.. I was banking on one dance.  Morp.  I was a little bit behind the curve and asked him today, excited.

He called me and asked if he could talk to me outside.  So I met him in the neighborhood like we used to often, and play in the rain.  

He had already been asked.  By a good friend, but still.  My heart dropped.  It sank to my feet, and fell through the ground I stood upon.  I knew something like this would happen.  The last dance of the year, HIS last dance of high school, and I couldn't share it with him.  

He offered to take me on a date to make it up to me.  But it isn't the same.  I walked back home not knowing how to react.  Silence muffled every footstep.

*It's hard seeing someone you loved so much, get up and move along from the life that you were a part of.  

1 comment:

  1. aw em, i dislike that feeling very much. you're not alone :)