missionary.

there's an eerie feeling,

when it comes to receiving your first letter from a missionary.

any letter from one, in fact.

my definition of a missionary:

a 19 year old boy who grows into a man, while he dedicates his life to and serves the Lord.

we will call this boy/man character HE.

he gave up his family, his social life, his studies in school, for two years.

and can never come home for holidays.  the only connection he has now is his freedom to write letters, and email his family.  and of course, a phone call on mother's day and Christmas.

and what is more amazing,

is how you can answer HIS prayers, through a letter.  out of pure inspiration.  i don't think i had said two full sentences to the kid in my life.  I hardly know him.

i think i will leave it at that.

don't go with your instinct, sometimes.

listen to the majority.

yeah, yeah, the majority isn't always right.

but when it comes to high school students, those of the male gender in particular.
listen to your best friends, those you have known for years, and whose opinions you value and trust.

listen to the fact he's a player, listen to the fact you've got better options, listen to the fact you know better, listen to the fact it doesn't matter what he does, listen to the fact the crowd says otherwise.

even when your instinct falls into infatuation. yes. not love. it doesn't exist until you get out of high school. (that's why I never post about boys. don't expect it from me, if it ever does happen, that's a pretty big deal.)

p.s. I also am one of those people that doesn't believe in love at first sight.  But I promise further explanation with come at a future time. (one post at a time.)

on a happier note,

now's the season for pumpkin carving, mulling spices on the stove-top, hot apple cider and chilly nights!

it's human nature.

human nature has never been stated so boldly and straightforward.

"What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?
Or what fond beggar, but to touch the crown,
Would with the sceptre straight be strucken down?"

-The Rape of Lucrece, William Shakespeare.

simply put is our favorite cliché statement, we always want what we can't have.

realizations of a teenage girl.

a typical teenage life includes a few of these.  if you are anything like me, it would be all of them.

*weekend football/basketball games. whether it be home or away, attendance is necessary.

*being with friends constantly.

*enjoying yourself.

*procrastinating homework as long as physically possible.

*go to a party or two.

*drive around town.

however.

I have realized that these things don't necessarily measure your happiness.

It's about what you do.  What talents you have.  How you share them with other people.  What rounds your life, rather than the same consistent things all the time.

Consistency is boring.

While in a deep conversation with a close friend, we discussed numerous things, but one thing he said stuck with me.  We were talking about how I was having a rough time at school.  He said to me that it said a lot about my character that I didn't come back, and that I stuck through with it.  He said some other things along with it that I won't share, but I had never really thought about it that way.  It really hit me hard.

If you're still reading.  Here's some food for thought.  And a little glimpse into my mind at the moment.

I've learned recently that it is best to own up to your mistakes.  Make apologies.  And wait to see the outcomes.

Unfortunately, I'm not the most patient person in the world.  I wish I was.  And things I do keep biting me in the backside.  I guess writing about it is the only way I can really express how I feel about my life and what happens.  I wasn't blessed with the ability to speak my feelings well unless I write it out first.  Communicating correctly in person isn't a strength of mine, is my latest realization.

And here's a realization of the past few minutes.

Conjuring a well thought out post that has some sort of organized format doesn't sit well with me.

Have a good sunday!

I want to go back to these days.

back on the face of the planet.

i'm not dead i promise.  i may have possibly disappeared off the face of the planet,
but only for 6 days.  I'm back now.

*learning to deal with people will be the best lesson you can learn in life.

for a lack of anything better to say, i'll leave you with this.

Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.