what happens when you haven't seen a doc in a year.

i don't recommend bottling up your feelings for longer than necessary.  your body shuts down and you don't even know where to begin living again.

my world has come crashing down over the past two weeks. 

running has become my life.  it keeps me sane during 3rd and 4th term.  not only that, but one of the only reasons why i was okay with transferring schools was if i could still run for Timp. 

as of last week, my life as a runner ended.  temporarily, i believe, but this is a prolonged time of inactivity, if you will.

the season started off fantastic, had a track meet down in st. george, soaked up the sun, and qualified for state with my medley team!  i couldn't have been more thrilled, my dream and goal of going to state was coming true! i had worked so hard to accomplish that, and that made me even more determined to qualify in more events throughout the season.

tuesday of last week brought about another small meet, pretty relaxed.  my worst nightmare came true then.  i fell again in my 100m hurdles. this is not the first time i've fallen (you can read about my first fall and hurdle disappointments here). this automatically meant a week or two off for me to heal.  a disappointment but not my biggest worry.

the biggest worry was my shins.  over the past month i've had horrible shin splints, and after i fell i could feel constant pain in my shins.  i went to the doctor to see what was going on.

after the doctor's visit, i was diagnosed with more than i had asked for:

-stress fractures in my shin.  8 weeks of no impact, which means no running, jogging, jumping, etc.

-anterior compartment syndrome.  requires surgery to fix.

-plantar fasciitis.  bone spurs and tight, numb tendons and ligaments in heel and arch.

treatment ranges for each of these.  but in general i have minimum 4 weeks absolutely NO running, and i'm going to try and come in and compete at region.  if i feel okay then i have a green light to run at state.  but i think both my parents and i know that this isn't going to happen.  there's no way that my body, in its current state, could possibly be ready to compete.  and even if i did.. i would have to take two months off AFTERWARD, into my summer, and i don't want to risk that.

its been the most disappointing couple weeks, my emotions are all over the place i don't know whether to cry or scream in frustration.

-it's kind of one of those things that you don't understand why EVERYTHING had to go wrong at the same time, and why you can't pull yourself together. 

but i guess that's what you get being a runner and not seeing a doctor in a year or two to discover your problems.