ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

hey, guess what??

okay i'm sure you have already guessed.

I'M HOME.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i wish you could see my excitement :):)

oh wait, you can!

today has been quite eventful.

#1. i am home. well. for two days. before i have to go off to girls camp all the way in Narnia.

#2. my dad was called to be the Bishop of my ward. (i'm a mormon. for those of you who don't know already. i love my church with all my heart and soul.)

#3. i love having my phone and facebook back. let's be honest here. i would probably not survive without either.

that is all for now. i know you want all the "deets". but. it's the middle of the night for me. i'm going to sleep.

Viva la Vida vs. the Sun King.

VIVA LA VIDA.

-Coldplay

You all know the song. You've heard it a thousand times. You know you love it.

But do you really understand what they are talking about?

*disclaimer. this is MY INTERPRETATION. not from internet. just from what i learned from 4 years of taking French and going to France more than once and hearing the history there.

Behind this song is an entire history; one that really happened.

It's called a little man named...

KING LOUIS XIV. (The Sun King.)

He built for himself and reigned from a little teeeny tiiiiny palace called..

VERSAILLES.

yeah no. try 15,000 acres. originally. now a bit smaller.

yet still. that is 24 SQUARE MILES.

enormous.

here's a little history of King Louis XIV.

He was called the Sun King for a few reasons. Number one. Everything had to revolve around HIM. Number two. He liked to be SEEN by the people. Number three. The sun symbolizes power, which he was.

He is an extremely HUGE person in French history. I will not bore you with an entire personal history on him.

"Now what does this have to do with Viva la Vida??!"

I'm getting there.

First verse: Talks about someone ruling the world; in command of everything, under his word.

Historical connection: Louis XIV was the most important ruler of all of Europe; he controlled every other empire. Louis XIV and the French empire could NOT BE BEATEN AT THIS TIME. They really did rule the world; all under one king.

Second verse: "Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

Historical connection: This is actually a phrase used by the French when a king would pass away. It symbolized that even though the past king has died, a new one is already in place through inheritance, and so the reign of France can continue onward in a never digressing fashion.

Third verse: Things take a turn for the worse; he realizes that not everything is going the way he plans.

Historical connection: The people were becoming very upset with Louis XIV, and they wanted him out. Versailles was built from the taxpayers money and they were soon sick of paying the King for his own personal pleasures.

Later in the song it talks about him denying the church because he was king, and needed to please himself. And then his downfall of his corruption. It talks about the Revolutionaries waiting for his head on a silver plate, which literally was what happened. The French Revolutionaries killed King Louis XIV and overthrew his later successors. Everything he did lead to the Revolution.

This is just a small portion of the whole song. But, I have no time to type the rest out as I am leaving to the airport in a few minutes.

What I find so interesting about this, though, is the fact that it is from Louis XIV perspective, or what it may have been.

I realized the importance of this connection while I was walking around the beautiful palace of Versailles, and saw in front of my eyes only what I had learned about in a French History class.

It was inspiring. Maybe that is where Coldplay got their inspiration as well.

This is my last post. I leave for Africa in a half hour.

10,000 miles away from home.

No posts for two weeks. For reals.

So, farewell, my friends!

homesick.

my entirety is stretching.

body in one place.

mind and soul in another.

i miss home like none other.

being with my family eases the yearning,

but it's just as if its a little teaser;

playing with me, taking me one way or another.

sometimes it hurts.

it hurts every day.

to see and hear what all my friends are doing at home.

the memories they have together.

all the good times.

i miss that more than anything.

you know something, yes i do get to do all these big things and have all these big things sometimes,

but i would almost rather have the smaller things.

i want to get my license. yes, i am 16 and passed my test with a 98%.

i want to have a tan and not be embarrassingly white when school starts.

i want to be with my friends, and have no worries.

i want to sleep in every day, and read.

i want to go to movie premiers. or actually see them when they come out.

i want to be able to text and call my friends.

i want to be able to walk over to my best friend/next door neighbor's house and eat Oreo's with her.

please, don't take what you have for granted. i value these things so high and would trade them for anything.

quickie quickie.

oh my heavens.

i love internet, people.

so after some thought (and a few kind words from dad), i decided i am done talking about my summer. well. bragging wise. because i totally was. and...... i hope you will all forgive me.

because, i have much more important things to write about, don't you think?

anywho, Rome is great. That's all i'm going to say.

and one the dirtiest city you will ever go to.

dirtier than NYC.

here's a few lessons that i've learned:

- family is more important than you think. you rely on them more than you would believe.

- bring more than one pair of shoes for a month's wearing. you may have to buy another pair.

- if you do buy another pair of shoes, make sure you have the correct pair of socks to wear with them.

- if you don't, you will have blisters.

- if you walk around an entire city, be sure you bring WATER.

- water is good for survival.

- it's always nice to have clean underwear. (don't you think otherwise)

- don't think that just because you are in a different country that no one speaks english around you (ahem. mom.)

- it feels good to shave your legs after a few weeks. (grosssss. i know.)

and that will be all.

I'm off to Paris again tomorrow. Maybe internet in the hotel? who knows.

I'll let you know. Sunday is Africa. that means no internet for sure.

anywho. hope you are all doing well :) ta ta for now.

the gameplan. and EVERYTHING left to say.

Alright kiddos:

Tomorrow is the last day in France. Well. Kinda.

Tomorrow is the day that I SEE MY FAMILY.

I have been waiting for this day since the very day I got here.
That was a month ago.
I can't believe it's finally here. I am so grateful it is though!
But, this means i need to go pack... uh oh. BIG mess.

So anyway, here is the gameplan of the next MONTH. in one post. with almost no detail.

Tomorrow, Sunday, July 10.

Hopefully make it to church? Who knows, it's almost impossible for me to. Then at about 2, MY FAMILY COMES. Heck to the yes. Then we get together with the French fam, have a big dinner, yahhda yahhda yahhda. The whole welcoming drill. Then I leave to go sleep with my family at the hotel.

Monday, July 11.

Spend the day doing the same things I did with my cousins and grandparents; so see my great grandpa's WWII story things. Then that night, go to a show for France's Independence Day (which isnt until the 14 but its that night).

Tuesday, July 12.

Leave for Normandy. Normandy is where Mont Saint-Michel is. I PROMISE you, if you could see a picture, YOU WOULD know what it is. It's the most famous château in the world. It's a castle on an island.
Then in Normandy we will do more WWII things. Go to a couple beaches (where Utah Beach is, ps.) And that will commence the whole first half of the day. Then that afternoon we will drive to Paris, and FLY TO ROME. Yes, Rome. I leave for Rome, Italy that day.

Wednesday-Friday

In Rome. Doing who knows what. Eating gelato and pizza and pasta.

Friday

Fly back to Paris.

Spend a couple more days in Paris. Do some shopping, eating, sightseeing, etc.

Then fly to Africa. Kenya, to be exact.

Please, go watch this (if you want the short version)
and/or this (if you want the whole thing. i recommend this one.)

WARNING.

before you watch, be prepared for MATURE MATERIAL. This isn't "funny" stuff that we talk about. It's mature and that you need to have an open mind about, and it concerns the lives of millions of people in 3rd world countries everywhere.

This is the reason why my mom and I go to Africa.


The reason why I'm telling you all this now, is because I WILL NOT HAVE COMPUTER ACCESS UNTIL I AM HOME FROM AFRICA. Yes, it is going to be a very long time. Until August 1, to be exact. I am terribly sorry for this. But, what can I do about it?

I promise you all that I will have PICTURES when I get back!! From France, Italy, and Africa.

Oh, and the day after I get back from Africa, I go to Girl's Camp. Cool. Another week without blogging. It's okay though, I promise again to have pictures :)

So, this is one of my last posts for a whole entire month! Please take it seriously, go watch the videos I posted! They are extremely intruiging, important, and exciting if you would like to get involved :)

So, besides that, I think I have everything covered. Oh crap. Besides what I even did today, which was a fantastic day.

Okay so for today!

Went to the largest aquarium in Brittany. It was pretty cool. Definitely enjoyed it. It was far out though, in St. Malo.

This, my friends, is the city of lovers.
One day, I WILL take my lover here. It is absolutely perfect, in my eyes. Too bad google images does it no justice.

Still, everyone, just please go look it up. It's one of the oldest cities in Brittany. It is surrounded by a protective wall, and all the streets are buried in between huge, tall, houses. It's absolutely beautiful. It's a tourist's dream city to be in. Full of little shops for clothes, accessories, crêpes, restaurants, ice cream, etc. Not to mention absolutely STUNNING views of the ocean, an amazing beach, and full of history. LOVE IT. It also happens to be where several explorers came from, including Jaques Cartier (who founed Quebec, Canada.)

Then, the second city we went to was over to Dinan. Again, another very old city in Brittany. I put it second best to St. Malo. Same sort of thing.

Then, we got home late, and now I'm ready for tomorrow to come :)

I know I won't sleep. I guess that's fine with me.

Sorry everyone.

I just have the constant desire to change EVERYTHING about my blog.

I don't have the patience to get it perfect; just close enough.

This feels a little cluttered to me, but it looks a little cleaner.

Not boring. But, clean.

But be expecting a change in about... one month.

for the Brittany girls.

Alright, all your girls out there named BRITTANY, listen up!

Here's some background on what you were named after.
Because yes, no matter what you say you were named after,
the place came first. I can PROMISE you that.
It's been called Brittany since Pangea.
Now, let the facts commence.

*In French, it is spelled Bretagne. It sounds beautiful with the accent.

*Bretagne was originally independent from France; its own country.

*They had their own culture, and their own language, very different from French; called Bretonne.

*500 years ago, Bretagne was forced by France to become part of their country. They unwillingly consented.

*100 years ago, French government forbade the language of Bretonne to be spoken, and completely forbade its existance. They changed every city and town name from Bretonne to French, translated every NAME from Bretonne to French, got rid of the language completely, or at least tried to. It was so looked down upon. Natives of Bretagne who lived during this time period had a very hard time telling the younger generations of families about this experience because it was so incredibly hurtful. They liken it to Hitler's Nazism. (Straight out of the mouths of the Bretagne natives themselves. Primary source. No wikipedia or internet was used in gathering this information.)

*But, the good news is that the culture of old Bretagne was kept alive, and is still preserved today (which I have gotten to experience). They have plenty of song, dance, food, etc. still around. Although the language is close to dead, the culture is still preserved.

*Because of this former independence, the region of Bretagne has a very strong nationalistic group of people. They love their region, and would almost put it before France. Everywhere in Bretagne you see their flag; they bear it proudly. They also have a regional symbol. I have yet to ask what it stands for, but I bought a little silver ring that has the symbol on it, so I will always remember Bretagne.

You girls who live with this name, show it proudly! You have an amazing history behind your name, please live up to it! Learn more about it, too. Discover where your name came from, and soak up the knowledge :)

Some of you may have already done so, and may have some words of disagreement on what I have said! I don't know where you got your information on your name, but hey, it would be safe to say that none of you got it from a native of the land themselves.. let's be honest.
You can't always trust Wikipedia.

Oh, and you're welcome.
That will be all! Have any questions or comments, please let me know. I would love to hear :)
Also if you want me to ask the natives questions about Bretagne/Brittany, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I only have a few more days here!

realizations; and then castles.

I had a sudden realization today:

I only have 2 more full days in France alone.

This brings joy and sadness to me.
The joy is the sweet news that this means my FAMILY is coming.
My real family.
My mom.
My dad.
My brother.

My small little family of 4. You may say that it would be awful to only have one sibling; I disagree.
I believe it is perfect.
They are currently on their way to Germany, as I write. I am completely and totally 100% JEALOUS.

The sadness of this news, however, is just the fact of it coming to an end.
This has almost become my second home.
I know where everything is now, I know how to get to grandma and grandpa's house, I know how to get to the beach, I know how to get to the store. That's all I need.
I love the feeling of being on the other side of the globe from everyone you know.

It's a rebellious kind of feeling; one of excitement.
Except I'm no rebel, obviously.
I thought going and getting my hair cut without anyone knowing was rebellious.
Quite lame, isn't it.
Anyhow, that is besides the point.

I am excited to see my family. More than these simple words can tell you. Nevertheless, it will be bitersweet.

As for today, it was an eventful day.
The morning was slow, which was good. I like that.
Then we left for the market.
I love markets.
So, expectedly, I loved this market.
I bought a typical Bretagne sweater.
I won't tell you what "typical Bretagne" is, until I have pictures. Ha.

Then we drove out to Cap Fréhel and spent the day out there.

Cap Fréhel is an area in Northern Brittany. In this area there are two lighthouses; both of which we visited, and plenty of château's, where we visited one. The entire area was absolutely beautiful; loved seeing every second of the landscape. The beautiful aspect of it besides the actual landscape itself was the fact that it was threatening to rain the entire drive there. Then, of course, it DID rain on us. All in the experience, though! I loved every second of it. It made the entire experience more beautiful to me.
The lighthouses were really neat to explore; we went up in one, and it had...
140 steps.
yes people.
140.
one of the shorter lighthouses, too.
Man, it's so awful that I was actually tired after ascenting that sucker.
Of course the view from the top was amazing. Looking over the rolling hills that dropped 70 feet of cliffs straight into the ocean. Beautiful.
To top that off with some cream, there were PENGUINS.
yeah. out of the zoo.
I didn't think I would ever see them unless I went to Antarctica.
But noooo! I did, everyone! From far away.. but hey, binoculars do their job.

Then we drove a bit farther down to the château. That was an experience to remember. It was built in the 1300's, and is one of the oldest in France. It was rebuilt in the 1920's. We got to go through the entire thing; it was an exciting castle to get to see.

Don't worry, I took lots of pictures.

As for tomorrow, who knows? We will just have to see.

Here, I just live my life day to day. It's more exciting that way.

the tour and some.

reading new blog posts is like eating candy or getting a present; it's that exciting, bubbly feeling you get inside.

and writing is like giving a present; it's almost like sharing a talent with someone, because writing is a talent.
some people have it, however; and some people don't.

anyway: for the events of today, i will continue.

Had a nice morning of sleeping in, and breakfast.
Then, some reading.
I am getting towards the end of the second book of The Lord of the Rings.
Please, if you LOVE the movies, YOU WILL READ THE BOOKS.

There are SO MANY THINGS in the books that the movies don't include!
You would all be so incredibly disappointed, let me tell you.
It's extremely eye opening, and I thoroughly enjoy reading these books.

And now. Coming to you LIVE FROM FRANCE;
please enjoy....
the rundown OF..

LE TOUR DE FRANCE!
so if you are religious watchers of the tour, you know the rundown of how it goes. they talk about the stage, the difficulties of it, blah blah blah, then they interview some racers and get the show on the road. they sometimes get shots of the team cars with all the spare wheels and bikes on top, publicity, and some other cars, but thats usually it.

what they don't show you....
is that there is actually a PARADE before the whole thing.

yes. here's how it goes:

they close the roads off about 2 hours before the cars come by.
spectators by then have already got their places all parked out.
(us included; we brought a picnic for lunch.)
then, after about an hour, cars come by selling souvenirs of the tour,
t shirts, umbrellas, hats, pens/pencils, etc.
i bought a t shirt and a hat, and some other things. all yellow. all adorned with "le tour de france".
then, after about 20 minutes, what they call "publicité" comes through.
this, my friends, is the parade.
they have cars, a hundred cars, flying by at probably 40 mph throwing things out that they are trying to publicize.
from this little parade, i accquired quite a few little prizes including:
two boating hats
candy
packets of brioche
nesquik
a newspaper,
and a beer can opener.

haha. it was great. i felt like a little child at home again.

then, after a hundred cars passed us over the course of an hour,
THEN the celebrities started coming.
yes, like real celebrities. Movie stars, politicians, etc.
of course we didn't get to see them. that would be mayhem.

but then after THAT, FINALLY, off into the distant sky, YOU COULD SEE THE HELICOPTER.
the helicopter filming the peleton, and the racers.

the leaders came, they were 3 minutes ahead.
there was so much going on, and they were going so fast, it was hard to let it all sink in.

then, the peleton came.

man oh man, was that exciting!
but, as soon as they came, they left.
it was then all over.
but,
then came along a few stragglers.
then,
several minutes after,
another few stragglers.

Turns out, (we found out later on the news)

there had been a huge crash in that stage. (Stage 5, for those of you following)
so sad for those racers.
you could see the blood running down their legs.
i thought that was kind of cool.
still sad though, painful too.

then after that, it was over.
the thing i find most interesting about this whole experience is the fact that there was so much going on,
and it was so incredibly hard to take it all in at once.
you can't follow one person with your attention the whole time, like you can on T.V., and slowly shift your gaze to other racers,
within 25 seconds, they are there and gone.
it's quite interesting.

so, that was my day of the tour.

then i went shopping afterwards for about an hour. bought 3 things.
but that's not exciting now, is it? see what i mean? (see post below).

good night to you all.

apologies to the readers:

events of tomorrow worthy of blogging:

going to market day (to shop)

picnic. in the rain.

(because of^)

LE TOUR DE FRANCE.

yes, i am a very lucky gal. i'm going to go watch.
the tour. the famed race that i have watched every year on TV ever since i was a gal.
the route happens to go through the little town i am staying in :)

okay fair enough,
i am experiencing many things here that lots of people won't ever be able to.
and i am truly lucky and grateful for it.
some of you may be thinking to yourself,
"wow she's so boastful and brags about everything she's doing!"

i'm sorry if you think that. that's not the point of sharing these things with you, those of you even reading my blog.
the point is that this is basically my journal, and one that YOU lucky people get to read into.
I'm sorry you may think that this is bragging of me.
And i do quite realize that.
But this is me just completely being honest about what I'm experiencing; and the excitement that comes along with it.

Now on the contrary, wouldn't it be boring to read:

Oh so uh today.. well today i ate breakfast, and i talked to Florence. then we found out that the Tour de Fance was going through our town. so were going. a good coincidence that I'm here at the same time it's going on.

or this:

Hey. I'm gonna be in Rome next week. Peace out homies.

I believe that is no way to blog and write about what you do or feel (because thats what a blog IS, right? at least for some people.)
Just my opinion, though.

So, all I'm saying is this: Read my posts about my exciting once-in-a-lifetime experiences with an open mindset. Don't shut out what I'm doing and be angry with me. I am not a bragging type of person. This is just my opportunity to really write about the kinds of things that are special to me, and things that I will remember for the rest of my life; things I hope you will find interesting to read.

That will be all for today.

a WWII story and 70 years strong.

yes, my wonderful holiday was indeed better than yours.

at first, i was of course discouraged by the fact i was in fact out-of-the-country ON the birthday of my country.

Ironic, isn't it.
But, to make up for the sad thought, the day was filled with absolutely amazing and important experiences.

First off, a little history. (it is indeed a very, VERY, VERY long story. this is a sliver of it.)

My great grandpa Ted was a bomber pilot in World War II. On May 29, 1943 he embarked on a bombing mission over France, where they were to drop their bombs on the target, cut across the British Channel and go back to base. They dropped their bombs, and everything seemed well, until they ran into some complications. German fighter planes attacked their squadron, and Ted's plane was hit. He fell out of the formation and immediately became the target that the Germans were looking for. It was apparent that the crew needed to bail, so Ted orded everyone out. Everyone made it safely out with their packs, including him. Ted realized that he was going to land in a tree, which he did. His parachute was stuck, and as he was hurriedly trying to cut himself loose (for he knew that the Nazis in the town knew he was there, and everyone knew), a young, teenage boy came running to him. That boy's name was Henri. Henri was part of the French Resistance. Ted was hid over the course of several weeks by the Resistance in fields, in peoples houses, and escorted in the operations by codename "Shelbourne". This operation was to take Allied downed aviators to a beach nearby (codenamed Bonaparte Beach), where in the night boats would be met to take them across to England. Right when Ted came, however, the operation was discovered by the Nazi Germans, and had to be cancelled. A different route would have to be figured out. This eventual route was escaping to the Pyrénées Mountain Range, where they would climb across the mountains into Spain, and off to home. So many more details are in this than i can give on here, but all in all Ted made it back home safely, after being M.I.A. for several months. He had a newly wedded wife at home; no children.

Eventually after the war ended, Ted decided that he wanted to really KNOW who those beautiful and absolutely amazing people were who were willing to help him, even willing to give up their lives for, which many did. Through many trips and hard work, Ted and his wife Ann and some of their children (my grandpa Randy included on this trip) were able to find the little town of St. Quay-Portrieux in Brittany, France, where Ted crashed. After many trips, it was discovered that Ted's plane had been discovered out in the bay off the coast, and that a diver had gone and recovered many things from the plane, which we now have. Over the course of decades of years, trips have been made, a memorial was built with the propeller of Ted's plane in remembrance, and friendships have been kept throughout the generations.

Those generations (4, to be exact) are ME. my family. It's been 70 years since my great grandpa crashed in France. And we are still such dear friends with every single part of the family of Henri, the teenage boy who first found Ted, and the other Resistance members who played such an important role in saving Ted's life.

If it weren't for these people, I WOULD NOT BE ALIVE THIS DAY. and neither would 3 other generations of my family.

Every trip is greeted with tears of happiness,
and every trip is ended with tears of sadness.
We never want to leave,
we LOVE THESE PEOPLE.
THEY ARE OUR FAMILY.

The END.
of the story, that is.

Now for what I did today.

With my grandparents and my aunt, uncle, and cousins, we saw the following:
*the field my great grandfather landed in.
*the tree that he landed in.
*the field he was moved to and stayed in the first night.
*the other fields he stayed in at nights.
*the safe houses he was kept.
*the houses of Resistance members.
*so many other places. newly discovered on this trip, too.

but lastly but not least, we saw:
THE PLANE.

okay we actually didn't see it.
we got on a real professional fisherman boat though, and went out to where it was. it was the wrong time of year and the tides were too high to see it. but, i have seen pictures.
to make up for it, however, we got to GO FISHING.
Mackerel fishing.
It was some of the most fun I've had! Mostly.
I caught 5 fish in the time we had to fish, about an hour, and had the most of anyone. Even more than the fishermen themselves!
They were so impressed with me that the driver of the boat had me DRIVE THE BOAT BACK TO THE HARBOR. a good half hour away. at least.
this is no average ski boat, my friends. it has the whole GPS/satellite/coordinate graph/who-knows-what computers everywhere, and so many things that made it that much harder! I had to take a graphed out course as to avoid all the hidden rocks in the area. Which I successfully accomplished.
Anyway, after a good day of getting Mackerel blood everywhere, holding and unhooking fish, sharing memories of a war that brought two families together, it has been very tiring. And all this writing is doing me no good. I hope I still have someone reading.
To. The. Last. Word.
Thank you, and Bonne Nuit :)

binary thinking: eventful vs. tedious.

dearest friends.
I have great news to share.
Many an event has occurred in the life of Emily!
As of yesterday, that is.

EVENT #1.
I received a phone call from mom.
Surprise, surprise, WE'RE GOING TO ROME!!
AHHHH.
yeah.
me.
I'm going to ROME. ITALY.
people I'm going to ITALY!!! (my attempt at Italian colors. White doesn't exactly work here; but just go along with it.)
Turns out our plans to go see the two mountain stages of "Le Tour de France" fell through, so were spending those days in Italy.
I cannot even explain to you my joy.
More details later.

EVENT #2.
I saw family today.
YES! My grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins arrived in Brittany today!
They had been in the lovely city of Paris all week, and finally journeyed on my way.
PHHeww.
I wanted to cry, I was so happy to see people who actually spoke English.
People I knew; and people I loved dearly.
I acted as translator (ha ha ha, funny. what a great translator I seem to be. apparently enough of one.)
More details about our adventuring tomorrow.

EVENT #3.
I had an epiphany last night. I was yet again up at 2:30, but this time for a completely different reason.
I was writing poems.
All this thinking about poetry the past couple days has had my mind in a mess.
Yes, a complete and utter mess.
My thoughts keep swirling around me, trying to get out and formed into writing;
yet it takes so much more time to write than you think.
But, I wrote one and a half poems last night.
One was a simple one about wind, (something on my mind yesterday)
and another is the one that is currently on my homepage.
Yes, to your left.

READ it. LOVE it. MAKE it your scripture. Basically I need to polish it up, but that in and of itself is what I live for. Every day. Finding myself. Figuring out who I'm supposed to be.
Enjoy. Tell me what you think about it, too. I would like that. And appreciate it. Very much :)

As for the title of this post.
I don't know where I was going with it.
Probably because other than those three events of the day,
I sat around and did absolutely nothing.
And was totally and utterly bored. A tedious day to live.
And that will be all for July 3, 2011.

WARNING.

sorry everyone.

i'm under construction.

i hope i haven't offended anyone already.

i'm workin on it, okay!

much love,
emily

modge-podge:

just like the title: this post is my journal for the day: a modge podge of things, thoughts...
and of course adventures.

first off; an apology. my past few posts haven't been on my trip at all.
that's because i haven't done anything those days.

like no, really.
on those days i woke up at 11, ate my usual crepes with butter and honey and my hot chocolate, read Lord of the Rings all day, sat on the computer blog stalking (real world blogs, as in designer clothing blogs, etc.), then eating dinner with the fam and sleeping. like i said, nothing.

but, today was different. i will explain.

first on the agenda for July the 2nd.
A HAIRCUT.
no i did not tell anyone about this haircut.
no i did not plan on getting one in the first place.
yes i did walk into a coiffure (hair salon) and get myself one.
yes i did pay for it with my OWN Euros (25 euros. thats like 30 bucks or so.)
and yes it did turn out a little differently than i imagined, and tried to explain.
language barrier. and cultural barrier.

but hey, an adventure, right?
and don't worry, it still turned out great:)
and HA. no pictures. (later i promise)

then after this, was a very long reading period outside in the sun and warmth (FINALLY)
I finished the first book in Lord of the Rings. Halfway through the second. I'm addicted.
then lunch.
then Florence's dad came at 15:00 (thats 3:00pm for you homeland losers)
and we went to the BEACH in ST. QUAY-PORTRIEUX.
ohh, it was lovely :)
i don't remember how long we stayed there, but then we went to dinner at le chez de Papi et Mami (the grandparent's house) and had dinner with the whole family for another birthday (there's been 2 so far since I've been here, and one tomorrow too.)
then finally, we came home.
i feel exhausted. and i need another run. i don't even want to know how much weight i'll gain here. hopefully i'll still be okay for XC (cross country) when i get back???!

okay so those were the events of today.
here's something special that happened today, something I'll remember for the rest of my trip, and for a long time.
I got online to write this post, and I checked my email.
I had received an email from a very close friend whom I have known since we met in 4th grade, and been best friends since.
She read my last blog post and sent me a very sincere email that touched me, and comforted me more than she could understand. Thank you, Isa. I love you so much. Thanks for always being there for me.
(p.s. folks: her blog is www.rechercheraven.blogspot.com. go to it. follow. read. yes.)
i love you all. i have more news!! but, i'll save it for tomorrow :)

Be Still, My Soul.

Be Still, My Soul

1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

I've never felt so alone before.

Never felt so helpless.

I've never been so unmistakably small,

never been so hopeless.

I haven't been able to sleep.

every single night I'm up until 1, maybe 2. just trying to sleep.

sometimes I have nightmares.

most of the time, I'm just homesick.

I was impressed to pick up my iPod and listen to this song tonight.

It was 1:30.

I did it anyway.

I believe it's a good thing I did.

Thank you, was all I had to say.

let's play categories. and discuss,

please, everyone.
let's be big people, for once.
it's like we look at someone and automatically pick them up; "man-handle" in the words of Owen Wilson in the movie Night at the Museum, and just put them in whatever little shelf we have categorized in our own worlds.
for example:

POPULAR
(then come the subcategories)
-popular b*tch
-chill popular
-follower of the populars, becomes popular themselves
-popular because of the jealousy of others to be like them
-the "pretty" populars
-etc, etc.

JOCK
(yeah dont really call it that anymore, but you all know what im talkin' about.)
-football
-lacrosse
-baseball
-basketball
soccer and track/field? no. they're just losers.

DRUGGIES
swear, drunk/hungover at school, tatts/piercings, what have you, etc.

LOSERS
-the ones who read.
-the ones in band.
-the ones in orchestra.
-the ones in choir.
-the ones who know every answer to every question in class.
-the ones who are smart.
-etc, etc. too much falls into this category. basically anyone who isn't "cool"

and here's the group of people that i've made in my world, who i dislike the most.

*the fake girls (and boys) who put on such a "great" outer appearance; who give those shallow compliments to everyone, who say they hate school, who go out and party every weekend, who copy their friends homework just cause they're pretty and "so nice", who somehow in this world get all the attention they ever need focused on them.
*these kinds of people take the AP classes just to get the college credit, and so their parents are happy.
*these kinds of people complain and complain and complain about how hard their life is and beg for attention for it.
*these people are so fake, it drives me crazy.

in my mind, this isn't an outward kind of appearance (although that is included on this one too), it's more based on behavior.
and man, do these people need an attitude adjustment.

whenever i felt put out about something and pouted around my family, my dad always tells me, "Emily, you're having a badattude."
It always just invigorated me more when he would say that.
Nevertheless, i always knew he could never be more right.
Anyway, that was just a tangent. But I felt like I needed to put that out there.

I feel like I don't really fit in any of these categories though. And I hope that people don't put me in their own derrogatory categories of their own, because I try so hard to never do anything that would make it seem like I was an enemy.
-I actually like school. In fact I love it. Would this make me a nerd or a loser?
-I take AP classes. As many as I think I can handle. And not only for the credit, but because I'm in a good setting there, with other people who are willing to work hard; a good surrounding, and where I can learn to the best of my ability. Does this make me a loser yet again?
-I'm in choir; I'm a musician and I love to sing. Does that make me a choir geek?
-I love to read. I had a stagnant period of my life where my love for it was clouded by the pressures of peers that "reading isn't cool". It's a good thing I rediscovered my passion for it this summer. But once more, am I a loser because of this?
-I love to write. Poetry. It's something close to my heart that I have a hard time sharing with others. It's something that I have sheltered and hidden very deep within me, because I'm afraid of criticism. So afraid of the jabbing thoughts that could blow out that little kindling inside me, that could blow out instantly because I haven't let it grown; haven't fed and nourished it.
When people bring up poetry, or there's a poetry assignment given in class, I usually just dismiss the subject with my friends. "Oh yeah, pssh. poetry. yet again." And that's that. Even though I always feel so completely awful about saying that because it's not what I truly feel.
Maybe someday if I get the courage to, I'll share my poems on here. And yeah. I'm sure plenty of people when they read that will automatically dismiss me; pfft yeah. she likes POETRY. who likes poetry, she's a freak.

Anyway.
Thanks for letting me go off on my tangent yet again, on poetry.
So, the lesson to be learned here is:
DON'T FOLLOW THE CROWD. obviously. be the kind of person you want to be, go ahead and do what you love even if "the norm" says no! do it because it makes you happy :)